How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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