I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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