it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
