your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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