So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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