Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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