Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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