was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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