You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
