Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize