He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
