why didn't you poke me back
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
