I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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