Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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