Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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