Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
