The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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