ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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