So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Boobs are out for the taking
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
