Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
