Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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