Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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