Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
