I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
