the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
It's blow job season.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
the liver wants what the liver wants
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Randomize
