Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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