there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
We left the knife in your bed.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
