I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize