Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
