I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
