I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
