Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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