She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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