New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Randomize
