Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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