well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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