Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
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