I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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