don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
