I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
