Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Well I just put wine in my tea
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
