I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
