at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
