What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
