Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
so let's talk penis.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
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