they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
