nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
