We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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