physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
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