where am i from again
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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