Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
