Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
