i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
