bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
