Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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