WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize