none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
