she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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